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 This page is the informal log of my transiency process, in reverse chronological order.
+- 22 January
+Strange feeling. This year starts exactly the same like a few previous ones at FoAM. Dealing with people in the studio, taking care of plants when no one around, organising Mus-e trajectory and so on. Feeling strange because even all looks the same - it isn't. There are no clear FoAM projects in the horizon. Maja & Nik is and will be traveling which means absent a lot. And even a question of getting paid for the days at work will depend on the money raised from rentals. Not a problem so far. I have secured some financial stability by outside FoAM engagements. But it is a very mixed feeling when i have to be in the studio 2-3 days a week without knowing how much funds will that generate.
+Regarding rentals i push for long term contracts rather than short ones with the hope that this way it will become more self sustaining and will need less of my engagement. I might be wrong here. We will see.
+Mus-e - this year i will be working with 3 classes. It is nice to have such a trust from the organisation. We had a long talk last autumn with core team of Mus-e where i also raised what the weak or heavy points from our collaboration are. Previous years i mainly struggled with the communication with them. So this time we started talking with schools and teachers a lot earlier and there was always a Mus-e representative present in making the planning and explaining trajectory guidelines. It makes huge differents. Teachers are more comfortable hearing not only my ideas but also what the larger picture and the purpose of such practice is.
+- 08 January
+"The line recasts itself, pulls in toward the skin unbuckling the knot in my ribs, an aperture shuttering the empty sweep again and again and again. The word falls out of focus"  from Jason Bayani "Amulet"
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-Last few weeks of the year became very prickly. I've put it in my agenda as the weeks of doing nothing and was really looking for time to spend not thinking about FoAM, studio or any work related matters. But it was naive to think that all the core team in Brussels can disappear at the same time. Especially when the decision to give up contract for the studio came so late in the year and so many lose ends was left unsolved or drifted into the unknown. I've spend last days of the year negotiating for several renting possibilities, letting people in and out, answering emails and even having to meet our landlord to talk about our future in the building. I got very annoyed by all of this. The tiredness from the intensity of the previous months, disappointment in people promising to do something and than leave it undone and the cold and dark of the weather got into my bones. I felt completely blocked to do anything. Only thing i wanted was to sleep and be left alone.
+Last few weeks of the year became very prickly. I've put it in my agenda as the weeks of doing nothing and was really looking for time to spend not thinking about FoAM, studio or any work related matters. But it was naive to think that all the core team in Brussels can disappear at the same time. Especially when the decision to give up contract for the studio came so late in the year and so many loose ends was left unsolved or drifted into the unknown. I've spend last days of the year negotiating for several renting possibilities, letting people in and out, answering emails and even having to meet our landlord to talk about our future in the building. I got very annoyed by all of this. The tiredness from the intensity of the previous months, disappointment in people promising to do something and than leave it undone and the cold and dark of the weather got into my bones. I felt completely blocked to do anything. Only thing i wanted was to sleep and be left alone.
 Ironically enough in our last conversation with Maja we talked that in our transiency somehow we are following the graph of the funeral ritual introduced to us by Barbara. And while Maja said she is still “re-killing the dead” i on the other side felt like going up already. The last weeks i had to “re-kill the dead” so many times that i started doubting if the going up stage will come soon at all.